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Friday, December 31, 2004
I was just playing with the hair(hiccup)dryer
Kate after leaving the bathroom with Julia where they had been for quite some time during the New Year's party.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

anything happening tomorrow night in gc? I only know of one thing so far (which I may go to.. but would like someone to buy for me since I dislike eggnog).. But yeah, nothing happening in my area.. and would like to spend the night with friends (and alcohol) rather than my tv (and no alcohol).
sorry for the double posting, and thanks for fixing it.. aol is satan and doesn't like blogger.. or the internet.

derek et al.,
i'd recommend the aviator, but only because i slept at the dude's house, joe boc (used to play for the raiders), in LA, who built the 2:1 scale model airplanes (some of the biggest models ever flown) for the film.

so it has recently been brought to my attention that neither Celeste or I told you of the squirrel saga.
here's the short version... squirrels make bad uninvited housemates, they steal entire south bend company chocolate bar, half a bag of reese's miniatures, half a bag of hershey's kisses and other general chocolate from us. They also sometimes watch you when your sleeping, shit on Celeste's bed, pee on my chair, and chew up pillows. Eventually we got the thing into the live trap by tying chocolate to the trap and released it in Shanklin Park. But now people tell us that that is probably not far enough away so it will come back... who wants a pet squirrel?


Help! Our friends, Sara, Teresa and Caroline, are trapped in Harrisonburg and need to make it up to DC for New Years!! If you or anyone you know will be going from the burg to DC tomorrow, please let me know. thanks!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
travel in china...

you must go to: hong kong and taiwan. yup. but for sure, taiwan if you have to choose one of the two. you can get around taiwan via the train system that circles the entire island. make a point when you are in taiwan to visit one of two natural, carbonated, cold springs in the world. it's fantastic. all bubbly and freezing cold. it's like sitting a spritzer water and when you get out you feel like your standing in a circle of wood stoves. ask for the private bath pass. trust me, it's well worth it.

if you go to hong kong, promise me that you will NOT go to disneyland. if you are up for some hiking, lantau island offers great opportunities and vistas as does lamma island. also, take trips to the outlying islands, not hong kong island, and hike around. hong kong is actually 40% national park and their are hidden spots and natural wonder all over the territories. purchase an octupus card (the bus, rail, ferry pass) and use it all the time. it's rechargeable. also, make sure to walk around the harbor and view the sickening, or not, depending on your view of capitalism, vista that the hong kong skyline provides during the evening. if you need contact information for either hong kong or taiwan let me know.

here is a cool vector map of hong kong.

needing some advice..
So, next fall I, along with some other gc-ers, will be enjoying the vastness of China for SST. Megan Blank, Miriam Mohamad, and myself are hoping to do a bit of traveling afterwards. So I was wondering if any of you had ideas of what to do or where to go, or any other travel tips that we could use. This will be my first time overseas, and well the only other country I've been to has been Canada. So I'd like to make the best of this grand opportunity to experience the world. Besides money, our only constraint is time. We'd like to be back from our journey by spring term.
So, where should we go / what should we do?

The Life Aquatic lives no more.
Our plans to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou tomorrow have been scrapped due to the fact that both Linway and Encore are not showing it (unless we'd want to go to Showplace 16).

We thought about going to see The Aviator or The Incredibles at Encore instead, but that might not work.

So, would anybody want to get together tomorrow afternoon at 534 to see Collateral or Maria Full of Grace on the small screen? This would work best for Tim's schedule. If you want to weigh in on what we decide to do, give me a call on my cell phone at 536-8752. Otherwise, plan to meet over at 534 at 2 P.M.

Monday, December 27, 2004

October 5, 1996
10:30 pm

Dear: Kate S.,
Hi, May name is Tristan Flage your may now me cause The Whitten Twins told you about me and I was right behind you at the football game yesterday. The Whitten twins have not told me a thing about you most ly because they totaly ignore me during school, but during church and choir its just the oppisite. The only things I know about you is your name (kate schrock), you are friends with the Whittens, and you have braces. I was looking at an articale in the 1994-95 year-book, it said you said that braces were good for passing Electricity through let me guess you rubbed youre dental floss when flossing or was it accidentaly atracting the floss with a electrical outlet or something like that. I have braces too. When I first got the (about 5 hour after I got them) they were hert like crazy. I had my hand over them saying er, er, er. Some of the other they may not of told you is my favorite type of music is not not very Popular at THMS which is Oldies (or 60's music). Right now I am listening to the greatest oldies show in the USA which is SuperGold with Mike Harvey. Iasts from 7pm-12am. I also love to go Biking, I went by your Place on the way to the Library and the Church (Asbury United Methadist church). The Pastor lives in the neborhood you live in (240 franklin St, I think). My adress is 523 Viewmont ct.

Now how about you? What are your Interests? But you don't have to tell me. I would like for us to be Pen Pals! I am also 13. years old
Tristan Flage

PS - I apolagize about my spelling and handwriting. I would like you to write back but if you can't or too busy I understand! See you in HHS next year! I am also in Boy Scouts (Troop 40)

speaking of which, i'm in LOVE!!! where are you my dear bicycle, i saw you on the internet a couple weeks ago on the internet, you were so beautiful, so perfect, but i forgot to save your url!!!!! sigh, where ARE YOU!

also me and alisa and meg had some rum...

p.s. tristan, i was lighting a light bulb through my braces with a hand powered generator in science class, and i'm sorry i never wrote you back but you were kinda creepy and your mom scared me on youth group trips. also folks, this was a damn nice bicycle, so if you come across a damn nice bike url, please send it my way!

p.p.s. a quick reminder about the rum

everyone should visit Meg
specifically at work
1. because she is so cool
2. sometimes she gives you free coffee
3. she lets you use her computer
4. they have free wifi so you can blog

long and short of it is, I'm in DC until New Year's you should all be here too. Yes that is an invitation.

Saturday, December 25, 2004
yeah, what now
i'm sure you all think you had a terrific christmas, but how many of you had a brother who got you your very own, super ferocious battleizering super cat? yeah, me and meg, that's who, although mine is way better 'cause it has bionic saber teeth!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
done with peace in goshen
yup. fath is back in town. shit will be hitting the fan...just about....NOW>

roar, gen ed.
yeah, fruit cake. (rachel's only please)

i'm now living at the bunny ranch, aka the stutzman house on 8th and plymouth.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Exams are over!

Yes, they were actually over quite a while ago, but I've been too busy recovering to post. The last exam was the Evidence exam on Wednesday. As Guilherme predicted, there were no questions on my favorite rule of evidence, probably because rape shield is so straightforward. I spent a embarassing amount of time last week trying to write lyrics about rule 412 to the obvious tune, but with no success, which makes the failure even more embarassing.

For those of you who don't know, I'm in Goshen presently. I came out with Celeste and Duane to pick up Celeste's things. I'm going to need to fit in Christmas shopping somehow, so if anyone in Goshen is going shopping tomorrow please let me know.

Saturday, December 18, 2004
I woke up yesterday with a nasty cold. It was around 11:30 and everyone had already gone to work and wouldn't be home for a while. I had the whole apartment to myself to do what ever I wanted for the whole day! So moved from the bed to the couch and turned on Ellen. Ellen is very entertaining because she dances. The dancing isn't entertaining in itself, it's the audience's reaction that is entertaining. I't's very funny to watch a bunch of 40 something housewives try to "break it down" with Ellen. It's funny to watch old people dance. Anyway, it was a little too much when Celine Dion started giving her performance. So I said "That does it, no more masochism, I'm going to surf the internet!" Well, sometimes the wireless signal doesn't stretch into the apartment and we have to wander outside the door to get a signal. Not a problem/ I moved outside and much to my dismay, the door didn't open. I was locked outside my apartment without keys, cellphone, or shoes. A nasty predicament. I tried frantically for a minute to get the internet to work so that I could email someone. (I didn't know who I could email, but it was the only thing I could think of). So my next thought was to fix the internet problem. So I went downstairs to find Jonah, out ISP incarnate, so he could fix the internet problem. Fortunately, there were circumstances unforeseen by me; Jonah had a cellphone! I explained to him my situation and asked to borrow his cellphone. The only person I could think of to call was Kate. Julia couldn't get off work and neither could Val. Kate probably couldn't either, but she was the only person I could think of. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember her phone number. So I called my dad, but he was at his boss' mom's funeral and couldn't answer his phone. Just then, Jonah suggested that I go down to the rental company so that they could let me in.
"But Jonah, I don't have any shoes on." "No problem, you can borrow mine, do you need a coat." "Thanks!, I don't need a coat though, it's still warm outside (ha! suckers in goshen)" So I left the computer in Jonah's care and walked the many blocks to the rental company in Jonah's new shoes. The guy said he'd be there in a half an hour to let me in. So I walked back to the apartment, yelled up to Jonah's window so that he could let me into the building, gave him back his shoes, took my computer back, and waited patiently in front of my door for the guy to come. Eventually he let me back in and I'm hoping he doesn't charge me the usual $75 fee. That would suck. A lot.

Friday, December 17, 2004

bah tim bah. I just left Goshen yesterday afternoon. this time you should brave whatever weather indiana dishes out and travel down south to yorktown/muncie to visit me. ;) if not you're definitely going to have to visit me during spring term. we need to catch up. and I want to hear about london.. and return your "Let's Go London!" book to you...

Back in Goshen
Yesterday evening I arrived back in the Maple City at about 4 am on my internal clock. I don't know how many of all y'all are still around here, but if you are and want to hang out while I'm in town, feel free to email.

Also, Derek and I are going to go watch "The Life Aquatic" on Wednesday, 29th of December. All and any shoupers (or otherwise) are welcome to come along.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Just a few more hours and I'll be done with all this weighing of the truth.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

ooh ooh! who are those HOT guys in Cincinnati's AllOut Magazine? wait... could it be? the guy in the middle... he looks strangely familiar. hmmm.

yeah, so, here i am in all my manly glory. my friends, beth ("harry viagra") and emily joy ("dean") talked me into performing in one of their thursday night shows and AllOut just happened to show up and got a few awesome shots of us for their next edition. i think i did pretty well for being a first-timer. made a whole eight bucks and a few kisses. :) i might have to do this more often!

Check out their official site to see other hot pics of my friends and my every-other-thursday-night-life.
go here, scroll down and click on "Message Board" and then down the page to "CDKS Photos."


Guess who I saw today?

So I was walking back from breakfast at ben's chili bowl with a documentary crew (three of us) and we were getting ready to interview the president of Public Citizen and I saw ben beachy!

Monday, December 13, 2004

Useful information on evidence.Went running, spent rest of the day on the evidence outline. Tomorrow go to school to print it out, then do some sample test questions and compare notes with Guilherme . Maybe Todd, too. My life is somehow both dull and stressful right now. The one thing that would make it better would be a job offer for next summer. That would be one less thing to worry about.

See? This post is so boring. Exactly my point.

Sunday, December 12, 2004
I think both Val and I have food poisoning
my stomach hurts
I want to be a dog
dogs eat grass
to make their stomachs better
damn expired sour cream
whispered: (I hate you)

but look what I found!

[1] Turn on the Speakers and allow the page to load fully
[2] Stare at the Picture without laughing
[3] that's What I thought

I wish I could sleep.
the cat's sleeping
I think val is dead
no, she's just puking
she'll be better in a bit
I wish I could eat grass
our cat doesn't eat grass
she eats ankles
and orange juice lids
and fingers
and arms
and milk lids
not grass
mmm, yummy green grass
I tried it once
(the plant, not the 70's term "grass")
it didn't taste bad
not bad at all
I also wrote a poem about it once
in, like, 10th grade
too old to be writing poems about grass
I also used to eat paper
I still eat paper
when I'm not thinking about what I'm doing
It doesn't taste bad either
but it's much less digestible than grass
you have to either swallow paper or spit it out
I wonder if you can make salads out of grass
then, you could eat all the old expired, rancid, rotten, spoiled, smelly, stinky, nasty, noxious, stale, sour, grody, gross, decomposing, disgusting, withered, moldy, repulsive, evil-smelling, icky, loathsome, fetid, foul, malodorous, mephitic, curdled, contaminated, carious condiments you pleased
followed by some grass salad
and your stomach wouldn't be angry
I hope this passes
or I fall asleep

Saturday, December 11, 2004
my job rocks

so, my full time job after this upcoming documentary on SUVs will be here at murky coffee where I can play on the internet and make espresso all day long!

Here's how it goes: for whatever reason I always get on a roll after about 11:30. So now it's 1:21am, but I just cranked out six more pages. I'm up to just barely seventeen now out of a required 20-25. And I have a good bit to write yet. This is all going to work out.

Also: we have heat at our house now! And supposedly someday Alice is going to come to fix the wholes in the walls. Once this is all completed I will try to talk my housemates into throwing a celebratory party to which you will all be invited.

Friday, December 10, 2004
Death to Me
Well, that does it. Turns out that seeing the Pixies reunion tour is absolutely essential to maintaining cool points. I lose.

But in winning news, I am one step closer to having the music department under my finger. I passed my permission, which means that I will be singing my little heart out on Saturday, January 8 at 6:30 in Rieth Recital Hall. You are all invited. And to up the ante, following that will be a reception with snacks (or a concert by the percussion ensemble, or both if you're quick), but wait, that's not really what I'm getting at... Late that night (after I've fulfilled what ever family functions need fulfilled [have I mentioned the convergence of the entire Shenk clan -- oh boy! Wacky sub-culture o-rama!]) I'll make my way back to 534 house (or something else if someone can find something nicer) where we will live it up til the wee hours like the elite children of an elite social set, i.e. a Strictly Formal party with Champagne provided. I tell you what, party of the year, the YEAR!
p.s. I am fucking serious about the "Strictly," in "Strictly Formal." Also about the "Formal," in "Strictly Formal."

I can resize photos myself, thank you. I happen to like a giant picture of Kim Deal.

p.s. I'm not really angry.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Esta pensando sobre viviendo con mi sister en New Jersey
Echo me dijo que es una vida buena
Enrique bien chevere

"That's my favorite band," says Tim Shenk afterwards. "When they came together with the vocals it was just perfect," said Evan Gentry. Jules wondered what they were shouting in Vamos. I would have told her at the time but it was too loud. I forgot to tell her afterwards.

For me the personal highlight was the slow and almost whimsical version of Wave of Mutilation. That and how they slammed through the songs like an eighteen-wheeler careening down the interstate while on fire.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I don't get it
Why do we have to put "-ally pleasing" at the and of "aesthetic" every time we say "aesthetic." "Aesthetic" can exist on its own without being "-ally pleasing."


I don't understand how people get "office jobs" or what one does in an "office job." I don't even really know what an "office" is. I mean, I know what a doctor's "office" is, I've seen those. And I know what a principals "office" is, I've scene those too. And I've been to the financial aid "office." And I think I know what a law "office." Those all make sense; I know what goes on inside. But what happens inside an "office." Like the ones with all the cubicles and the telephones and the computers and filing cabinets and post-it notes. How does everyone know what they're supposed to be doing? Could you just sit there all day pretending to be doing a job that doesn't really exist? Could I get a job like that? And how do you get a job in a cubicle? Do you apply somewhere and when they ask what your experience is, you tell them you're really good at sitting at a desk in a box without windows? Is there a particular skill you have to learn to be an office worker? Or is there something you study in college to be an office worker. Like, accounting? but offices aren't filled with accounting majors. there are other majors too? Is that what business majors do? I always thought business majors went out into the wild frontier of Entrepreneur, no the confined city of Cubicle. So who is sitting behind all the desks getting carpal tunnel? People who didn't like their old jobs? Like teachers who hate the system or acrobats with vertigo? But an office job isn't better, is it? That aside, I still can't figure out what office workers do. is it like being in a factory except with computers instead of large stamping presses? Ok, enough rambling, I'm late for an interview.

Sunday, December 05, 2004
Ode to Washington DC

Val, Ben Reed, and I were riding around DC admiring the Washington Monument and this song came into my head:

There's a big beautiful phallus in the sky

It's my home, it's where I live
Bush and many others live here too
DC's our home, it's where we live

The tune is based on this popular Raffi song called "Big Beautiful Planet."

I know I'm talented. You can stop gasping.

Self-rising flour and bad mothers
I'm making a recipe tonight, Vegetable hot pot with cheese squares, that calls for self-rising flour. I found this recipe on the internet. I thought it was especially great that it's called Thelma's self-rising flour. If you don't get your name on recipes for flour, someone might steal them from right under your nose, and before you know, there's a patent on them.

Now I have to go make James do his homework and practice guitar. This is why I would I would be no good as a mother. I don't honestly think it's that important if thirteen year-olds do their homework. If all eight graders refused to do their homework, the world would not stop spinning. The guitar is more important, because James has a lot of musical talent. He's playing on his drum set right now. Who's to say that isn't more valuable than anything else he could be doing? This is why people shouldn't let me have kids. They'd be so anti-authoritarian that the world would hate me.

Click for a transcript of the relevant Weekend Update sketch.

Studied, then around ten went to Rachel's party. Spent half of the two hours there telling people I was leaving, but kept getting stuck in more and more conversations.

My housemates are big fans of "The Best of Will Ferrell" ever since Vanessa found it in the bargain rack after spending half and hour looking for it in the regular shelves. Anyway, the last sketch in the collection is one where Ferrell plays a state department employee who can't stop shouting because of Van Horton's Syndrome. It's one of the highlights of the film.

As I go to fetch my jacket and scarf I hear a man talking to a woman. He says, "But I think that real change has to come from Bolivia or Honduras. It can't come from Washington." I shake my head at anyone so naive as to be using that line to pick up women. White liberal do-gooder trash.

So I'm smiling in condescension at him as I fetch my jacket and I make eye contact with a different woman. This woman is seated on the couch, wearing a green sweater. She won't break eye contact, so I feel like I have to talk to her. I explain to her what the stupid man said and why it makes me smile. The green sweater woman nods and smiles eagerly. Then she says, "YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE ME. I CAN'T MODULATE THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE."

We chat briefly about Venezuela, Chavez, liberal do-gooders, and an argument I got in last night related to all of that. I don't feel bad about excusing myself quickly; I really was leaving, had put on my jacket, and would have headed out the door shortly regardless of which stranger struck up a conversation. I couldn't resist telling my housemates the story for laughs when I got home, though, and for that I felt bad.

Saturday, December 04, 2004
Your pants, I'm afraid, are in the bread bag. The garbage bag with holes cut out for legs is an amusing but poor replacement. And you-know-who, half-conscious on couch, isn't lying when he says he'll hit you if you try to take his pants from him.

Ah yes. Shoup memories.

Also: Yo, Bum rush the show.


In other news:
Last night was punk-rific, and I've got the busted tooth to prove it.
Turns out our garage has two roofs, the usual one and then a second one inside. Zow! Also, lots of nails stick down from the primary roof.
Where are my pants?! They are right here, where they belong. Now if I could only find my dignity.

Friday, December 03, 2004
poutine is crazy shit

Yo, Montreal totally rocked! It was a hot ham and a half. I thought some of you might be interested to see what poutine looked like and what it does to Canadians when they see it. If you get a chance to see a Matthew Barney film and simultaneously desire a mind fuck, you are definintely going to be satisfied.

Check out some more Montreal fun.

So, I'm headed to Bangkok as of Saturday morning for a week, followed by a week in Nepal--all of which is for work. I'll try to post some photos on my flickr account while I'm there. Also, I know you're all wondering, but no, I'm not having the sex change operation in Bangkok. I thought it over and while I know the doctors in Thailand do an excellent job, I've decided just to leave things the way they are. I mean, it's me, you're probably not surprised that I've decided not to do something crazy.

J to the L Yo

so tired... quick who wants to write a humanities paper for me. It can be about anything, anything at all as long as I have something to turn in I'm okay with it.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Lanny: Why, yes. I am. But better to be an ugly man in the papers than a pretty man in the mirror.
Katie: You don't even celebrate Chanukah, you Goy!

P.S. Lanny, I'm actually kidding about the "ugly man" business, you look great (is that Emily Beauregard related to Espri Beauregard?). Katie, you don't celebrate Chanukah do you? I'm really sorry, I'll never try to be funny again.

I have to quit quitting jobs

I want you
so bad
it's driving me mad

This actually looks nothing like the fleece I am writing about. What it does look like, though, is the arms of a person from toothpastefordinner.We were cleaning out the closet and we found three things that no one claimed: (1) a blue and maroon windbreaker, (2) a fleece, and (3) a black scarf.

I suggested that we give them to the homeless, however, in light of recent events, i.e. no heat in my house, I have decided to postpone this donation, at least with regards to the fleece which is basically the warmest article of clothing I've ever had on me. I'm had warmer blankets, but never a warmer article of clothing.

The homeless will get it eventually, though, because in a few weeks I will get so fed up that I will move out of the house. Today they took out our kitchen sink. At that point I can't really justify keeping it. It's light grey with a red stripe through the middle. It's grey with a red stripe that is bordered by two white stripes, so it's much too sporty to become a permanent part of my wardrobe. That black scarf, on the other hand, is just what I needed now that I can't find my old green one, the one that said cryptically "Palm County Retarded Citizens" on the label on the inside. As for the windbreaker, I guess the homeless can get that one straightaway.

Lando et SashaRespect, it was totally on Saturday.

Thanks for the greeting, Jesse (hell of a memory you got there). Yup, I got old last weekend. J-to-the-L-Yo and I celebrated by cooking and hearing a quintet of Russian monks. Other highlights of Land o'Lake's trip included a spontaneous all-Asia jiaozi competition (Chinese vs Korean dumplings--everybody wins!), a three-hour mind-f*ck courtesy of Matthew Barney, poutine, a frozen hike over the eponymous mountain, cider (both kinds), cute waitresses, the new UNKLE album, spazierganging Germans, hanging out with Misha, sweet martinis, a lot of walking, long conversations, waffles with my mom, old friends, Inuit and contemporary art, Ali G, insensitive church comments, bagels, a shared Polish meal with a spry old lady getting ready to see her "man-friend" and a whack of good, cheap & used books.

Indeed, it was a lot in three days. Thanks, Lando, for the good times. May your travels (Bangkok & Kathmandu for two weeks, people!) be safe but interesting. Keep rocking World Vision like it's your job, and send us pictures.

Lastly, this song has been doing it for me all day and will probably last the week: On m'appelle papa, featuring 01Étranjj & his kids!

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