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Saturday, June 28, 2003

My Message to the Middle-School Girls of the World

Please stop the following activities:


  • Trying to flirt with me (badly because you lack experience)
  • Making eyes at me
  • Looking at me, not realizing I can see you from behind my mirrored sunglasses

Ok, it is flattering, but I'd honestly rather have the attention of a small, furry, dog. Good grief, I'm leaving your town in a few minutes, your state in a few hours, and your life in a few seconds. So leave me alone to fill up my tank with 87 octane in peace.

In good news, Rebecca Allen will be around in Seattle for me to hang out with.

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