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Thursday, March 11, 2004
Final Issue of the Mennonite
After two years of procrastination, the final issue of The Mennonot is finally availbe. You should all download it and distribute it widely.
Disclaimer: I had nothing to do with publishing this wonderful piece of satire other than ripping off their name and having the publisher as a mentor in high school (explains a lot I suppose).
Without further ado, here's a juicy excerpt:
Top ten reasons for being glad you’re a Mennonite
10. Over 600 songs in the new Mennonite
hymnal and not one of them is Kum Ba Yah.
9. The excitement is really building over the
upcoming motion picture, starring Harrison
Ford and Kelly McGinnis, about Mennonite
ethnic diversity called Whiteness.
8. Church leaders plan to remain true to the
traditional stance of military non-involvement
by prophetically declaring all Mennonites to
be gay or lesbian.
7. Who can dance to rap music anyway?
6. The fellowship at the annual Amish-Mennonite
Oktoberfest is never strained by a nasty
hangover.
5. Three words: three bean salad.
4. Completing one’s education without ever
experiencing sex ed taught by an 80-year-old
nun claiming to be “married to Christ” greatly
increases the possibility of having a healthy
sex life.
3. Menno Simons could have kicked Luther’s
and Calvin’s butts.
2. Church leaders took a dramatic step forward in
the cause of women’s rights by affirming that head
coverings need not be worn during the swimsuit
competition at the Miss America pageant.
1. Large gene pools are so darn impersonal.
posted by Unknown @ 12:54 PM
