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Thursday, October 07, 2004

This is where he is. He flew here in a helicopter.My cousin Doug is at the hospital. He got in a four-wheeler accident. He somehow managed to get back on and rode himself back to the farm. We don't know the details because he's not really in much of a condition to be very coherent, I'm told. He's suffering heavy internal bleeding and liver damage. They put "packing" in him, whatever that is, to stop the bleeding and cushion his organs. Sometime today, maybe this very instant, they're going to cut him open again to take the "packing" out and look at his guts.

He might die. I have no idea how likely that it, but it's possible. How do I deal with that? I don't think about him that much, and I don't know how to feel about that.

I bought him a card. I'll mail it tomorrow. At first I thought I was buying it for him. When you're little you always think your older cousins are really cool. But I'm not sure that he's in much of a condition to appreciate cards right now.

Then I thought I was buying it for his parents. I worry that I'm becoming more distant from my extended family than I would like, but I don't know what to do about that. So maybe this card will help some there.

But perhaps ultimately I'm buying it for me. It's a pathetic, $2.99 gesture, but I don't know what else to do.

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