shoup house: New Yorkers are SO immature

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

New Yorkers are SO immature
So after living in New York for seven months, one becomes accustomed to the unusual. Today was the weirdest experience I've ever had while grocery shopping. Like normal, I went to the Associated Supermarket on 23rd St at 2nd Avenue, a mere four blocks from my home. Everything went smoothly and I go to an open checkout lane (actually it had been closed but the clerk opened it for me when she saw that I was waiting). She scans through all my items and I hand her a hundred to pay for the groceries, which were about $60.

Suddenly, she starts to scream angrily for the bagger. Not an annoyed, "Hurry up," more an "I fucking hate you, come bag the goddam groceries." So some guy shows up shortly and starts apologizing immediately and the situation becomes clear momentarily, as she screams, "I didn't waste two and a half years for you to cheat on me!"
"Not in front of the customers," he retorts, "You always do this." I'm a bit stunned at this point, because this is the sort of thing I had feared I would run into in New York, but figured I had encountered most of the weird things that happened in the Big Apple by now. But no...

Next, she turns to me, "Would you please tell this jerk that I'm not talking to him!"
"I'm not getting involved in your argument. Could I please have my change," I reply, while holding my hands up defensively. They continue to argue and she makes reference to her friend who is a slut, how she caught them making out behind the refrigerators, and implies that he is impotent, by kindly refering to his penis as "softy". I'm not sure what expression I was wearing at this point, but we're approaching the five-minute mark of this argument. I'm still owed $40. He, for the most part, is just taking it, but does manage to respond in-kind, as most 13-year-olds would (though both of these people were probably in their late 20s), claiming that his affair was merely a back rub. I really don't want to hear any more of this and am looking at the two people in line behind me for some indication that this is really happening. They seem annoyed, but much less so than myself. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the cashier just up and leaves at this point.

Now the bagger decides that I'll probably be more interested in hearing about his version, which of course, I'm not. Also, he doesn't even bother to start bagging my groceries. So, he talks about their relationship for a bit and does try to console me a bit by saying, in reference to the cashier leaving, "She'll calm down. She always comes back. Maybe it'd be better if you came back later, when she's calm...like tomorrow." I basically ignored that last part, becaused I'd already written him off as dumber than a box of rocks. I'm fairly uncomfortable at this point and have considered the possibility of being the good guy and actually listening to him, but the arguments been so immature that I couldn't convince myself that anything I would have said would have made a lick of difference. So I ask him and the cashier nearby if they could please give me my change. They say that only the crazy woman [my wording] was allowed to use her register. Great.

Another minute or so passes and she does decide to return. There's another brief fight and the bagger leaves, angrily. She then proceeds to stand there and sulk, not looking at me, not getting my change, just sulking motionless. WTF? I muster a few un-as-of-yet-frazzled nerves and ask, "Could I please have my change?"
She retorts, "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something!" Really, WTF? At this point, I loose track of what else I said. I didn't, however, raise my voice beyond a stern tone, though it was damn stern at least a couple of times.

She then takes a phone call from her mother and decides to start talking about her relationship for a minute. As that finishes I ask for my change again, and we're at least near the ten-minute mark, she reitterates that she's in the middle of something and adds, "Don't you know what common courtesy is?" Clearly, it is in dispute. I know I said at least that common courtesy was not involving other people in your personal problems or taking phone calls while on the job. To which she replies, "I don't get what the problem is?" At that point, I decide I'm going to have to get the manager if there's any hope of getting my $40 in change. So I ask the lady behind me in line where the manager's office is and she indicates where it is. I head that way and the cashier decides this is probably not good for her and starts yelling, "sir, sir, wait, come back, I'll get you your money." I told her to go ahead and get it ready and I would be back shortly. She follows after me and says, "sir, wait, you're on MTV's Boiling Point."

Yep. I did a brief post-hoax interview and signed a release form for them to air it, if my clip makes their cut. Alison, their manager will give me a call if it airs, which would likely be at the end of April. I will keep you posted. I hope my suffering might bring you joy.
posted by Landon @ 1:27 PM

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