"So I was taking a dump in a backyard and this guy comes out and calls me 'asshole.' Now why would he do that? And so I says 'Hey Soldier, I'm not bothering nobody.' Then he says he's going to call the cops on me. Why would he say that? I wasn't bothering nobody."

At the time my thought was, "Right on! You weren't bothering anybody! You were just taking a dump." Of course later Celeste pointed out that someone might not be so pleased to find a man defecating in his backyard.

"Cigarette for the homeless?" he asks quickly as I walk by. "Sorry, don't smoke," I say.

Later I'm walking around the house to the garage. "Cig-oh you don't smoke," he says. He continues. "Let me tell you something, you are very handsome." "Well thank you, and yourself as well," I reply. "No, leadership cannot be handsome," he says under his breath, and continues "I tell you, you could be a Roman Centurion." "Thank you," I say and I go to get on my motorcycle and ride it for an hour. It starts without difficulty.